Aftermath
by Caitlin51
Summary: Barry and Caitlin realize that they have a lot in common after all they have lost. Set after the Season 2 finale.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I finally finished Season 2 and ideas kept churning through my head and wouldn't leave me alone...so I guess I'm back to SnowBarry! At least temporarily...we'll see if Season 3 gives me any good ideas!**

 **Anyway, this is set right after the Season 2 finale. Please read and review!**

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She said she was okay. Fine. Recovering.

That was what she said every time he asked, but the shadow lurking behind her eyes as she looked down at the floor, avoiding his gaze, betrayed her lie.

In the midst of the conflict with Zoom, she'd said that she wasn't okay, but that she'd get there. It'd been a week. Or maybe two weeks. Barry wasn't sure - he was as broken as she was, and keeping track of time seemed so insignificant compared to the storm of emotions inside him. But the point was, she hadn't improved. Neither had he, but he didn't care about that - it was easier that way. Pretend to be numb and maybe one day he'd get there. But for Caitlin...he wanted better.

She'd been through so much. Ronnie's death, Jay's betrayal, her time as his captive, and she'd soldiered through. She'd pretended to be Killer Frost and had pretended to care for Jay to distract him - Barry couldn't even imagine how difficult that must have been for her in her emotional state. But she'd done it. And he respected her for it. But now that things had slowed down, now that they weren't jumping from world-ending disaster to world-ending disaster, the shock had worn off and she'd retreated back into herself. Even Cisco had been unable to reach her, no matter how hard he tried.

But Barry couldn't miss how she flinched every time someone entered a room unexpectedly, or how her hands shook sometimes, or how she never spoke unless addressed with a direct question. It was the worst he had ever seen her.

"Okay," he finally said, after a too-long pause.

Caitlin started, seeming to have forgotten that they had been speaking. She had become lost in her own head again - something that happened much too frequently now. "Thanks for asking," she replied briskly, with a forced smile.

"Just...just let me know if I can do anything." Barry stepped forward and went to place his hand on her shoulder, but she flinched away instinctively. He withdrew the hand without commenting on her reaction. "Please." He didn't know if he could offer much more to her than being broken together, but he felt like he needed to say something.

Caitlin nodded, again not meeting his eyes. "Of course."

"Uh, great." Awkwardly, Barry turned away, unsure of what to say, what to do.

Surprisingly, even though she was generally monosyllabic and terrible company, Caitlin was probably his favourite person to be around since...everything... happened. Everyone else kept trying to tell him that things were going to be okay and that he would get through his grief. However, Caitlin didn't try to comfort him. Whether or not it was healthy, Barry wasn't ready to move past his messed up state and he appreciated that she was the only person who accepted that and would let him wallow. No questions asked. No words said. Just silence and shared suffering.

Maybe one day, that silence could be broken and both of them could find a way to heal. But, for now, this was okay. This was what Barry needed. He just wished that he could offer her the same small comfort in return that she offered him.

…

It was that evening that he returned to STAR Labs. It was late - the fact that it was dark outside registered dimly in Barry's brain, but it made no difference to him. Why should it? Sleeping just invited the nightmares, and he didn't need any more of those. He had enough of them during the day, anytime he wasn't actively involved in something. He just couldn't stop reliving his father's death at Zoom's hands…

The lab was deserted, as he'd hoped. He liked the alone time, the peace of being the only one there. For some reason, this was always where he came when he didn't know where to go. A small part of him whispered that he should really go see Iris, that she would be touched if he would confide how he was feeling in her, but he couldn't bear to do that. He loved her, that much was true, but seeing her just reminded him of how happy he should have been, would have been, if not for Zoom. And he couldn't handle that. Instead, he avoided her. Just like everyone else.

Rounding the bend in the hallway, he entered the main room in the lab. And then he saw her, huddled on the ground with her head resting on her knees, and his broken heart twisted just a little bit more inside of him at the sight. His foot scuffed on the floor as he took an involuntary step forward, reaching out towards her.

Her head rose and whipped around to face him at the sound and she let out a panicked soft gasp, scrambling backwards away from where he stood. There was stark terror in her eyes, a sharp contrast against the tear stains on her cheeks. He noticed that there was a tranquilizer gun clutched between her trembling fingers, a fact she seemed to have forgotten in her fear at his sudden appearance. "Please, no, not again…" The words were soft, but Barry heard them clearly in the silence.

"It's just me, Cait," he said reassuringly, holding up his hands non-threatening. "It's just Barry." He approached until he was crouching down next to her on the floor. "Can I sit?"

Nodding, she shifted slightly to allow him to ease into a sitting position next to her. "And can I just…" he didn't finish his sentence, instead reaching for the gun, still resting, forgotten, between her fingers. She released her grip on the gun and it nearly clattered on the floor before Barry caught it. "Thanks." Whatever had scared Caitlin enough to put her in this state, huddled on the floor of the lab with a gun in her hands, made him wary of letting her hold a gun, even if it was only a tranquilizer.

They sat in silence for a while, neither of them willing to confront their own inner darkness out loud. Turning slightly towards her, Barry noticed that Caitlin was wearing fuzzy blue pajamas, striped with purple. Her hair was in a messy knot at the back of her head instead of its normal straight style. Obviously, she had come here for the same reason he had - to escape the nightmares. Normally, she was so put together that it felt odd to see her so...vulnerable. Like she was letting a tiny bit of what she felt on the inside escape to the outside, at least for the moment.

"I see him," her voice broke the silence, trembling. "I see him and he won't leave me alone."

Barry didn't have to ask who she meant. "He's gone, Caitlin," he said gently, shifting even more towards her. "He can't hurt you anymore."

"I don't know if he'll ever stop hurting me," she whispered, turning her tear-streaked face towards him. "Even though he's gone...he's not gone in here." She tapped her head. "I know, it's ridiculous, but…" she trailed off.

"It's not ridiculous. What you went through...it doesn't just vanish. It takes time to deal." After going through what she had, anyone would be a mess. It was surprising that was holding together as well as she was, honestly.

"I'm not the only one who needs time," she remarked dryly, glancing pointedly at him through her tear-filled eyes.

It was the most normal, Caitlin-like thing he had heard her say since Zoom, and he smiled despite himself. "I very definitely don't have to take my own advice," he responded with a slight smile. "Avoidance is…" he sighed. Avoidance was complicated. He knew that he accomplished nothing by avoiding how he felt, but at the same time, avoidance brought the numbness that got him through each day.

"Yeah," she agreed, nodding as if she could hear his thoughts. "You really should try, though," she started, biting her lip and looking straight ahead. "Talk to Iris."

"I will if you'll talk to Cisco," he returned her challenge.

"I...I can't."

"Neither can I." Iris couldn't understand. Neither could Cisco, and Barry knew that. No one had been through what they had - seeing someone they loved being ripped away and killed. Feeling a part of their own hearts being ripped away and killed.

The silence returned for a while, neither of them sure what to say and both scared of being more vulnerable. There was a very real possibility that torrent of emotions, once released, would overwhelm them and destroy them completely, and neither of them were ready to face it. Not yet.

"Cait," Barry finally spoke, his eyes soft as he looked at her.  
"Don't," she interrupted, shaking her head. "Please. I should...I need to go home. Put on some real clothes." She gestured to her pajamas.

"Let me take you?" Holding out a hand, Barry hardly dared to breathe, wondering if she would take him up on his offer, wondering if she would let someone touch her.

Hesitantly, she nodded and accepted his hand. "I guess. I mean, we have to be back here in…" the rest of her sentence was lost as Barry pulled her gently to him and took off towards her apartment.

It only took a second to arrive, the sky lightening slowly as they stood in front of her door. "Thanks," she whispered, stepping away from him. "For tonight. For driving away the nightmares." She unlocked her door and entered, closing it behind her.

"You're welcome," he whispered back, too late. But, to his surprise, he realized that his waking nightmares, too, had stayed away throughout their time together.

Barry left Caitlin, feeling the tiniest spark of hope in his chest. It wasn't much, but it was the most he'd felt since his dad's death. Maybe, someday, he'd feel normal again.

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 **Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, still don't really know what I'm doing with this, but since I finally caught up with the Flash, my love for SnowBarry has reemerged and I feel compelled to write about it...so please let me know what you think and leave me a review!**

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Caitlin stared vacantly at the wall, reliving the moment. The moment she had deliberately used her powers - the exact thing she had sworn not to do. She couldn't risk it, couldn't risk becoming her doppleganger from Earth 2. Couldn't risk becoming a deadly killer. She knew that, but yet, in the moment, she had ignored all logic and had freed Barry from his prison. She just couldn't...just couldn't leave him there. Trapped in that mirror. And so she had broken all her carefully created rules and had released a trickle of that force that churned inside of her, yearning to be set free. It was dangerous, and her control had almost slipped...but it hadn't. Not that time. Regardless, she was a threat. She didn't have control, not yet, and she refused to test her powers to see if she could develop some form of control.

Her breath puffed out in a wispy fog as the air around her started dropping in temperature, her powers reacting to her inner turmoil. Eyes widening in alarm, Caitlin shivered more out of fear than out of cold (she didn't really get cold anymore, at least on the outside) and wrenched her mind back to the conversation.

"You okay, Caitlin?" Cisco asked in a whisper so that they didn't attract the attention of everyone else in the lab. The whole team was there - Barry, Joe, Iris, Wally - and they were telling the new Harrison Wells about their operation, but Caitlin had zoned out of the conversation.

"I'm fine," she whispered back, her eyes darting around nervously as she checked to see if anyone had noticed the sudden chill in the air. "Just distracted."

Cisco didn't look convinced, but he nodded, one hand absentmindedly rubbing the arm closest to her which was now covered in goosebumps. Suddenly, he called out, "My turn!" and jumped from his seat, moving to the new Harrison. "Wanna see the lab?"

Various members of the team chuckled and they started following Cisco as a group, but Caitlin started zoning out again, reliving that moment. That rush of power as the ice raced from her fingertips to incase the mirror, the almost painful but also exhilarating sensation of using her power and freeing the ice inside of her, the fear that accompanied the exhilaration - fear that she would become evil, a killer. Fear that the power and the rush would consume her until she became her worst nightmare. Fear that she would wake up one morning and not recognize herself.

"You coming, Cait?" a voice broke into her thoughts, and she blinked a couple times, realizing that Barry stood in front of her.

"Wha...I, yes," she babbled nervously, not meeting his eyes.

Taking a step closer to where she sat, Barry leaned forward and captured her gaze with his. "Cait, is everything okay?" The real concern in his voice touched her, more deeply than she would have thought.

"Of course," she said brightly, hoping her false cheerfulness would convince him. However, this was Barry, and as their late-night conversation earlier that week in the lab had proved, he could see right through her. "It's nothing."

"Is it about Zoom?"

The sound of his name made her flinch. She had been trying not to think of him, not to think of the gaping hole in her heart that Jay had been starting to fill before he revealed that he was a sadistic killer and a kidnapper, but the nightmares kept coming back. It was hard to not relive something as traumatic as that. She bit her lip and looked away.

Barry kneeled down in front of her and put his hand comfortingly on hers. "Because he's gone, and I'm here, and it's over."

"I know," she whispered, still looking away. She felt tears starting to well up in her eyes, but she fiercely blinked them away, refusing to cry in front of Barry. "I know," she repeated once she had composed herself again, "but he...Barry...he told me you were dead." She kept avoiding remembering that moment where she had been positive that she had lost Barry forever. That moment of heart-wrenching despair, worse than when she had found out that Jay was Zoom.

Barry's hand, the one not touching hers, moved to her face and turned her to meet his eyes again. "I'm not dead, Cait. I'm fine."

"I know - I'm just being silly," she mustered a trembling smile for his benefit. "It just still feels so real, sometimes…"

"...but at the same time, like some horrible nightmare?" he finished her thought with a wry smile. "I know. And it'll get better with time, trust me. I'm kinda an expert on time."

Caitlin couldn't help but grin slightly - a real smile - at Barry's lame joke. "I guess I'm just glad you're alive." _And I couldn't bear to lose you again_ , she added silently, unable to say the words and express just how much he meant to her. More than she'd ever thought. That was the real reason she had risked everything, risked losing control and becoming a slave to her icy powers, to free Barry - she couldn't lose him again and she would do anything to keep him safe.

Even if it scared her.

"Me too." He shot her that crooked grin of his and rose to his feet. "Ready to join the others?"

Caitlin hesitated. She really didn't want to be around anyone else right now, and so she quickly made up an excuse. "I, uh, actually need to be getting home," she lied. "I have to...do laundry…" her voice trailed off and she nearly winced at her abysmal lying skills.

The look in Barry's eyes told her that he didn't believe her, but that he wasn't going to call her on her lie. "Of course. But, Cait," he said as he turned to go, "if you need anything, I'm here. Always." He shot her one last smile and sped away to join the team in the lab.

"Thanks," she whispered after his retreating figure.

…

Showering had used to be a comfort for Caitlin - a moment of peace where she could turn her thoughts off and just enjoy the warmth and the soothing sensation of washing her hair. She loved the steam that covered the shower doors and the feel of the spray against her skin.

Everything had changed now.

Somehow, the warmth set off her powers and she ended up covered in soap and standing in a homemade freezer, and she had yet figure out how to get around the problem. Taking cool showers was unpleasant, but at least then she could complete the shower without freezing every drop of water in her vicinity. That was what she was just finishing as she stepped out of the shower, still frozen inside and sweeping her wet hair into a towel above her head. Nothing could warm her up any more - on the outside, her body had adapted and cold no longer bothered her. However, on the inside, she felt frozen. Numb. Whether it was due to her powers or due to the gaping hole in her heart left from Ronnie and Jay, she couldn't say. All she knew was that the chill inside continued to worsen, day by day.

Pulling the towel of her head, she dreaded what she'd see as she looked in the mirror - if her last shower had been any indication, there would be more streaks of white. The mirror confirmed her fears - a handful of strands gleamed, white as snow, amidst her brunette hair. She groaned and leaned over the bathroom sink, feeling overwhelmed. She was so lost in her despair that the sound of a knock on the door made her jump and nearly yelp in alarm.

"Coming," she called, grabbing her pink fluffy robe to cover herself and wrapping her hair back in the towel before heading to the door. Before opening it, she took a couple deep breaths, trying to seem normal. "Barry!" she said, surprised to see him standing on her doorstep. "What are you doing here? Don't you have plans with Iris?"

"She's working on some article," Barry explained, his hands in his pockets, "so I thought I'd come over and check on you. Something seemed off earlier."

"Oh," Caitlin said, feeling a rush of sudden, inexplicable butterflies in her stomach at his caring. "Thanks. But really, I'm good. Great, even," she added. "Thanks for stopping by." She started to close the door, but Barry stuck his foot in.

"Cait, please," he asked. "Let me in?" He looked at her imploringly, his sincere concern clear to her.

Reluctantly, she moved backwards and allowed him to enter the apartment, self-consciously adjusting the short robe so that it covered more of her bare legs. As she did so, her towel slipped and fell from her hair to the ground, allowing her mass of wet hair to fall around her shoulders. She froze.

Barry stared. "Caitlin…?"

"It's not what you think," she said frantically.

"Why is some of your hair white?" he asked the question she was dreading, the question that could change their friendship forever, the question that could make her lose him all over again.

She just stared at him in mute horror.

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 **Please leave a review if you would like me to continue!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm back! Sorry it's been a while...I'm pretty busy… Anyway, please leave a review to let me know what you thought of this chapter!**

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Barry stared back at her, trying to process what he was seeing. Her hair...the white strands gleamed in stark contrast against her chestnut locks. And white hair could only mean one thing…

"It's not what you think," Caitlin gasped out, bending down to reach her lost towel and cover her dripping hair from his view. The movement briefly distracted Barry from his thoughts - her movement highlighted her long legs, only covered to mid-thigh by her fuzzy robe. "I, uh, tried to dye it!"

Barry blinked twice, trying to regain his focus. "Dye it?" he finally asked incredulously. He had always know that Caitlin was a lousy liar, but this just proved it.

Nodding, she refused to meet his eyes. "Yep. Blonde. But I left the dye on too long and then, well," she smiled nervously and gestured towards her towel-covered hair. "You'd think, being a scientist and all, I'd know how to work some simple chemicals!"

Barry rolled his eyes. "Come on, Cait. You can tell me the truth. Trust me." He stepped forward and placed one hand on her shoulder, pulling her close to him in a comforting embrace. HIs lips against her hair, he breathed in her scent - she smelled like fresh snow mingled with a light floral aroma. "What happened?" he muttered, his lips brushing her hair.

"I...I don't know," she mumbled against his chest.

"When did it start?"

"A few months ago, I...I think," she replied, pulling away a bit. He could see lines of moisture on her cheek, but decided it was a good idea not to mention them. "I keep hoping that…" she trailed off, pulling away from him completely and moving to sit on her couch. He sat down beside her and took her hand in his. It was freezing, but he forced himself not to flinch at the cold.

"I know," he drew soothing circles on the palm of her hand with his thumb. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

"How can you promise that?" she asked him, her lips trembling slightly as she tried to keep her emotions under control. It killed him to see her like this, so vulnerable and hopeless. She pulled her hand from his and folded her arms, her posture shutting him out.

He looked down and sighed. "Cait, I don't know how things are going to work out," he admitted heavily, but I know that you're one of my best friends and we're going to figure things out. I'm not going to abandon you."

Sniffing quietly, Caitlin forced a small smile as she met his eyes again. "I'm lucky," she whispered, "to have a friend like you, especially with...everything."

As he stared into Caitlin's eyes, Barry felt something stir inside of himself, something foreign and deep. Something that scared him slightly, but also sparked this need - a need for her. Her eyes were so beautiful, and deep, and so full of sadness that it tore at his heart. All he wanted, more than anything else, was to help her forget that pain. Before he realized what he was doing, he leaned in towards her, slowly… Her eyes drifted closed and she didn't pull away as his lips hovered so close to hers that he could feel her exhaled breath, like an invitation for him to close the rest of the distance.

His phone rang, startlingly loud in the silence, breaking the moment. Both of them jerked back instantly. Caitlin's eyes shot open, and Barry could read the confusion written across their beautiful depths. Her breath was uneven and a blush was forming across her cheeks as she shifted away from him, again tugging at her robe to stop it from exposing much more of her leg.

"You...you should get that," she advised, running a nervous hand through her hair.

Barry cleared his throat, trying to shake off whatever that moment of insanity was that had nearly caused him to kiss Caitlin. He finally almost had some sort of a relationship with Iris, and though they weren't exclusive, he didn't want to shut that door before he gave it a shot - or did he? With a rough shake of his head, he cut off his thoughts and answered his phone after a quick glance at the caller ID. "Cisco, what is it?"

He listened intently for a moment, acutely aware of Caitlin's gaze on him the whole time. Finally he hung up. "Meta. Downtown, at a jewelry store."

"Go," she said immediately.

Hesitatingly, Barry stroked back a lock of the white hair that had fallen in front of her eyes. "I'll be back," he promised. "As soon as I've dealt with the meta."

She didn't meet his eyes as she replied, "I have to be getting to the lab anyways. Do my part to keep Central City safe."

"I'll be back," he repeated, ignoring her attempts to avoid his promise. Then, before she could say anything else, he sped off to find the criminal meta.

…

"Talk to us, Barry," Cisco's voice came through the coms, sounding slightly frantic at Barry's lack of response.

Panting, Barry leaned forward and glanced around the corner, hoping to catch a glimpse of the meta. "I'm fine, guys," he responded quietly, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. "I just can't get anywhere near him!"

Caitlin's voice took over the coms. "As far as I can tell, he's emitting a force field of some sort of pure energy."  
"Then how am I supposed to bring him in?"  
"Distract him?" she suggested. "Obviously, he can control the energy enough that he's not repelling everything around him, so if you can distract him enough that he forgets to concentrate, it is possible that maybe the energy might dissipate."

"Well, that was a whole lot of confidence," Barry muttered, preparing himself to go at the meta again. At least the meta seemed to have no offensive powers and no real desire to hurt anyone - while he had a gun, he'd done little more than wave it around to scare the employees into opening the jewelry vaults.

Glancing around the corner again, Barry determined that the coast was clear, and that maybe he could sneak up from behind. Maybe he could get into the store through a window or something before the meta realized he was there.

Barry neared the back of the jewelry store at full speed, glancing around to see if there was a convenient entryway. The back door was locked - he tried it as he sped by, and his only other option was to use the window in the side. He hurtled through it, his speed and quick healing allowing him to ignore any minor scrapes from the impact.

There was no sign of the meta. Barry looked around wildly, but all he could see was broken glass and a couple terrified employees cowering on the floor amidst the wrecked remains of the window. "Sorry," he apologized to everyone. "Did you see which way he…?"

A women to his left shook her head.

"Uh, thanks anyway." Shaking his head, Barry sped back to the lab.

…

Caitlin sat, alone in the dark, wishing that the numbness would leave, even just for a little bit. Wishing that she could feel something again.

Earlier, when Barry had almost kissed her, she had thought that she'd felt a whisper of something, but then his phone had rung and the moment had shattered. She'd probably imagined everything, though - he was probably just going to kiss her on the cheek. They were friends, nothing more. Even if a sliver of her wished that they could be something more, something that would warm up her what had frozen inside her.

Then, dealing with the meta had almost sparked a bit of her former passion and dedication to her work, but the incident was over before it had really began. The meta had vanished without a trace, and so had Caitlin's hopes of a distraction from her problems.

With a sigh, she pulled off the hat she was wearing, overtop of the simple bun she had twisted her hair into, and allowed her hair to fall free. She hadn't wanted anyone else asking questions at the lab, and so she had hidden the white streaks. If she was quieter than usual, no one had noticed, thankfully.

A hand touched her shoulder.

Caitlin screamed, and ice sprayed in all directions as her powers reacted to her fear Distantly, she heard the sound of things falling as her blast toppled various decorations off her shelves and coffee table.

"Caitlin, stop," Barry's shout penetrated her panic, and she felt him speed to her and put his arms around her. "It's just me, Cait."

Slowly, she relaxed into him, the temperature in the room rising as she took deep, gulping breaths. Tears leaked from her eyes, but she didn't bother to brush them away, instead focusing on calming down. "Haven't you...heard of knocking?" she finally asked.  
"I did, he muttered, his breath hot against her ear. "And then I was worried when there was no response, so I let myself in."  
"So you decided to give me a heart attack?" She forced some humour into her voice.  
He chuckled. "I did call your name, twice, trying to get your attention, but you were really out of it."

"Sorry. And sorry for…"

"Blasting me with ice? It's fine. I can vibrate my particles fast enough that I don't stay cold long."

Despite herself, Caitlin smiled. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you'd be trying to track the new meta."

"That can wait," he responded. "I promised you that I'd come back."

Caitlin still stood there, letting herself be held, and allowed the faintest spark of hope to glow next to her frozen heart.

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 **Please review and let me know what you think! Also, if anyone has any ideas for what Cisco should name the meta in this chapter, I'm open to suggestions.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long, guys! I promise I'm just busy and I'm not abandoning it… Hope you all enjoy =)**

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Barry stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought.

He was confused.

Well, maybe 'confused' was an understatement. He was baffled, bewildered, completely at a loss, stumped, and every other word that basically meant really really _really_ confused.

Iris was beautiful, and smart, and funny, and he had been pining after her his entire life. Seeing her with Eddie had hurt, cut him deep to his core, and he was positive that he would never be able to move on from her. But now, now they were finally getting their chance to start something - a chance that Barry would have given up anything, including his speed, for - and he wasn't even sure that it was what he wanted anymore. After all, he had nearly kissed Caitlin just earlier that day. And sure, it would have been a mistake, and he would have regretted complicating their friendship like that when both of them needed the support of the other, but if he was meant to be with Iris, shouldn't he only have eyes for her?

The woman in his arms stirred, as if she could hear how she occupied his thoughts. "Shhh," Barry muttered soothingly, hoping that she wouldn't wake up all the way.

"Barry?" she asked sleepily, shifting a little more against him. "Stay?"

A slight smile touched Barry's lips at the sleepy, almost incoherent request. "Of course, Cait. I'm not going anywhere." They had spent the evening after the meta attack together, just talking and taking comfort in each other's presence, and then had somehow ended up on the couch. Caitlin had fallen asleep on his shoulder...and somehow Barry had also succumbed to his exhaustion and then had woken up with Caitlin nestled against him, his arms around her.

Not that he was entirely complaining. Confused, but certainly not complaining. It felt...nice. Nice to hold her and know that the nightmares left her alone when he was there.

Caitlin's breathing slowed and evened out - he could feel the little puffs of air against his arm as she returned to sleep.

Confident that she was okay, Barry's thoughts began to wander towards his predicament again. It was clear now that Caitlin had risked using her powers to free him from the mirror he had been trapped in, even though she had known the consequences of her actions. However, she had still done it, and that showed just how much she cared about him. As a friend, though. Had she wanted him to kiss her, too? No, that didn't matter, because they were just friends, and he had Iris. But Caitlin's legs, bare to mid-thigh in her fuzzy robe kept entering his mind and informing him clearly that he felt something more than _just_ friends for the woman asleep against him.

Sighing deeply, Barry pushed all thoughts aside and closed his eyes. Right now, it was late and he had had a long day. Tomorrow, he could deal with the meta and his mess of feelings, but for now, he was going to sleep. Eventually, the sound of Caitlin's even breathing lulled him to a blissfully dreamless sleep.

…

There was only cold - nothing else.

It was like being in the midst of a blizzard, but a blizzard that never ended, could never end.

It was being frozen, slowly, piece-by-piece, until you were indistinguishable from the cold, in a process that continued forever.

The cold continued, seeping through everything, contaminating everything with its icy touch.

There was no escape, no warmth to be found.

Nothing to do but to surrender to the cold.

"Caitlin…" a voice entered into the midst of the freezing nightmare, calling to her. "Caitlin, wake up. Please."

The voice was too far away - she knew that she should reach towards it, towards the warmth it promised, but she was too cold…

"Caitlin. Wake up!" The voice was closer, more urgent now. She felt herself pulling towards it.

Her eyes flickered open. But the nightmare continued.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she mumbled through the numb cold pervading her body. Her breath frosted as it left her mouth. All around her was ice - frost rimmed every object in the room, and spears of ice were pulsating from her body and embedding themselves in the floor, the walls, the ceiling. The air temperature had dropped, far below the frostbite level - only her powers were saving her from that, she supposed.

"Caitlin, you have to calm down," Barry's voice broke into her horrified realizations of what she had done in her sleep.

She looked at him, her eyes wide, glazed with shock. "I can't," she whispered, glancing down at her hands. A tear dropped down and froze immediately, before it even reached her skin. "Get out of here. Before I kill you. Before I become _her_." There was no need to explain who 'her' was - Barry knew her fear of becoming Killer Frost better than anyone.

"That's not going to happen," Barry promised, his voice vibrating along with his body in his attempt to stave off frostbite and eventual death. His speed allowed him to dodge the flying icicles without a problem, but getting too close to her was a risk - even his impressive powers might not be enough to fight off the extreme cold in her immediate vicinity.

"I can feel her coming." Caitlin's voice sounded flat, unemotional, even. "She wants you to die."

Barry moved slightly closer, but then halted, unable to penetrate the area where her powers were the strongest. "You don't want to do this, Cait," he pleaded. "Take a breath, calm down."

Caitlin found herself smiling. A small part of her screamed, begged her not to hurt him, but she ignored it. "No, Barry, I _really_ do."

Before she could so much as stand, something flew at her with incredible speed and struck her directly in the chest. The impact threw her over the back of the couch and sent her sprawling on the frozen floor, gasping for breath. One of her shoes dropped to the floor beside her - the object Barry had thrown. Then, an instant later, Barry was there, pulling her up and into his arms and speeding off before she could react.

An instant later, there was heat - oppressive heat, soaking up all the cold she was exuding. "Let me go!" she ordered, wrenching herself away from Barry, searching the area to figure out where she was. A sauna was her guess - it would explain the heat and humidity that were nullifying her powers. The temperature in the room was dropping, but slowly - much too slowly to allow her to kill Barry like she wanted to. Her powers wouldn't manifest until she could cool herself down again.

"It's for your own good," Barry moved closer and pushed her against the wall, pressing his body up against hers. "I just need your powers inactive long enough for you to remember who you are."

"Killer Frost," she hissed at him, struggling to escape his grip.

"Caitlin Snow," he corrected her, staring deep into her eyes. "Dr. Caitlin Snow. My best friend. Someone who has saved countless lives in this city. I won't let you become a killer."

Caitlin paused, something warring inside of her. "It's too late for that," she told him, but there was uncertainty in her voice.

"It's never too late for you."

Suddenly, the rage and bloodlust drained out of Caitlin, leaving her feeling weak. She felt the cold leave her bloodstream and she slumped against Barry. "I'm...Barry, I'm so sorry…."

"It's okay, Cait." He held her close for a couple minutes, then swept her into his arms and sped her over to her apartment.

…

Aside from the layer of water covering the floor and the destroyed decorations, Caitlin's apartment was in surprisingly good shape when Barry arrived, an exhausted and terrified Caitlin clutched to him.

"Thank you."

Barry looked down at Caitlin. The amount of white in her hair had doubled since her powers had activated in her sleep. He had only been gone for a couple minutes - out to pick up breakfast for the two of them - and when he came back, Caitlin had been fully in the grip of her powers. "You know I'm always here for you, Cait."

"I know," she mumbled, indicating that he could put her down. He did so reluctantly - he didn't want her powers coming back, and physical contact seemed to help with that. "But I'm dangerous," she continued, "and I have to figure out how to stop it -"

"-we will-"

"-or you'll have to put me in the pipeline with all the other criminals."

"Never," Barry shook his head. He refused to even think about that. Unconsciously, he stepped towards her and pulled her into his arms. "Never."

"I almost killed you."

"But you didn't." He rested his head on her hair. "We'll spend some time in the lab today. We'll figure something out, I promise. I won't give up on you, and I won't imprison you for something that's not your fault."

He could tell from Caitlin's silence that she didn't believe him, but she didn't pull away either, which told him that she was willing to try.

And he was going to keep trying until he fixed this, because he couldn't stand the thought of losing her.

* * *

 **Please leave me a little review to let me know what you thought! That was not where I was planning on going with this chapter, so I'd love feedback… Anyway, next chapter will probably feature the return of the meta!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait between updates… Anyway, the credit for the meta's name goes to AgentMaryMargaretSkitz - thanks for the wonderful idea! Enjoy the chapter =).**

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Caitlin slumped down on the lab table in frustration. "It's hopeless," she muttered into her arms.

"No, it's not," Barry told her immediately, moving from where he was leaning against the wall to come stroke her hair. "We're going to get there." They had been working all morning in the lab, trying to figure out how they could nullify her powers, but nothing they had thought of had worked so far.

His fingers felt amazing in her hair, but also intimate in a way that made her feel both confused and comforted. The more time she spent with Barry, the more confused her feelings towards him became. However, with everything that had happened with Ronnie, and then with Jay, the thought of falling for anyone ever again was painful. Especially someone she could hurt accidently with her powers.

Finally, Caitlin shifted so that she could look up at him. "What if we don't?" she whispered. "The only time I've felt any control was when I freed you from the mirror, and even then, I nearly lost it. I can't keep putting everyone at risk."

Barry didn't look surprised at her admission that she had released him from the mirror. 'I'm here for you, Cait," he said simply. I won't let you hurt anyone."

"But-" she started to ask, but she was cut off by a blast of energy that threw both her and Barry across the lab. Her body slammed into the far wall, knocking the breath out of her lungs and making her vision blurry.

"Caitlin!" she heard Barry's voice cry. "Leave her alone." That wasn't directed to her, but her vision was still impacted badly enough that she couldn't tell what was going on.

She struggled to her feet, one hand pressed against the wall to help her balance. "I'm fine," she forced out, just in case Barry was wondering.

Standing up cleared her head. The meta from the jewelry store - Cisco had named him 'Blockade' - was standing in a shimmery force field of his own making while Barry sped around him, looking for a way in.

"Why are you doing this?" Barry demanded, before a shot of pure energy hit him and he went tumbling to the ground. Blockade's force field shimmered for a brief moment before stabilizing.

The man grinned. He was tall and had dark hair, but it was hard to make out specific features through the shimmering of his shield. "Getting rid of my opponent is a smart move. Then, Central City will be mine for the plundering."

"Ever thought of an original motive?" Barry gasped, turning back into a blur just as a lance of pure energy struck where he'd been lying and impaled itself in the floor. Caitlin gasped, and her eyes widened as she saw Blockade's shield flicker again. If she could hit him right at that flicker...maybe… But then she would have to use her powers, and that thought terrified her.

Blockade chuckled as Barry tried to get close to him and was again repelled by the force field. "Give it up, Flash," he threatened. "You know you can't touch me." The meta shot out another bolt of energy, and this one struck Barry in the shoulder. He went tumbling to the floor, screaming in pain.

Caitlin saw her chance as the shield flickered. "Maybe he can't, but I can," she yelled, channeling all her fear and anger into her powers and directing them in a stream of extreme cold towards Blockade. At first, nothing happened, but then the shield cracked and broke, sending sharp shards of energy flying across the room.

Something struck Caitlin in the thigh and she screamed, but she pushed through the pain and kept directing the ice towards the meta.

He yelled incoherently, in a voice filled with anger and pain, but then his cries cut off as her stream of ice entombed him completely, trapping him as a life-sized ice sculpture.

"Caitlin," Barry raced to her side and knelt next to her, and she realized that she must have fallen. There was a searing pain in her leg that made it difficult to focus, though.

"Did we get him?" she mumbled the question penetrating the fog in her head. She felt someone scoop her up gently.

"We got him, thanks to you." Barry's voice told her before she slipped into the darkness.

…

Barry sat on a chair beside the bed, holding Caitlin's limp hand. Cisco had taken care of defrosting Blockade and putting him into the pipeline while Barry had rushed Caitlin to their medical area and tried to tend to her wound. Normally, Caitlin was the doctor, and so it took him a while of frantic googling at superspeed to figure out how to treat the gash in her leg. Though he had taken a lance through the shoulder, his heightened healing had already caused it to fade to just an angry red mark. In a couple hours, it would just look like a nasty bruise, and by tomorrow it would be gone entirely.

However, Barry wished more than anything that he could give Caitlin his super healing instead of seeing her unconscious and injured like this.

"How's she doing?" Iris asked, coming into the room and laying a hand on Barry's shoulder. Before, Barry's heart would have leapt at the contact, but now, he was so wrapped up in Caitlin that he barely noticed.

"Better, I think," Barry replied, not taking his eyes off the woman lying in the bed. They had dyed her hair back to its usual colour before coming to the lab, but there was no way that Cisco and Iris wouldn't have noticed her using her powers on the meta. "She hasn't woken up, yet, though."

"Did you know?" Iris asked. "About her powers, I mean?"

With a sigh, Barry answered, "Yes."

"And you didn't tell us?" Barry looked up and found Iris glaring at him accusingly. "Cisco's really upset up there and scared that she's about to go all Killer Frost on us-"

"She won't," Barry defended her immediately. "We're figuring out how to control her powers."

Iris sighed. "You still should have told us. I don't like that you're keeping secrets, Barry."

"It wasn't my secret to tell."

There was a touch of hurt in Iris' eyes that made Barry feel bad, but at the same time he wouldn't have changed his actions. "I have to go," she said finally. "Take care of her."

"Will do."

Barry spent the next couple hours by her side, alternating holding her hand and stroking her hair.

Finally, her eyes fluttered open and her hand squeezed his very slightly, alerting him that she was awake.  
"Barry?" she asked immediately, before her eyes were even fully open.

"I'm here," he responded immediately, coming closer. "How are you feeling?"

"Like someone stabbed me," she responded dryly with a weak smile. Then, the smile disappeared. "Did _she_ take over?"

Barry shook his head with a proud smile. "Nope. It was all you - no Killer Frost at all."

"Did anyone else see?" There was flash of fear in her eyes, and it killed Barry that he had to tell her the truth.

"You froze Blockade completely," he admitted with a comforting squeeze of her hand. "They figured it out."

Her eyes closed. "Are they mad?"

"Only that we didn't tell them. Mostly, they're just glad that you're okay and that Blockade is in the pipeline."

"Good." Caitlin's eyes fluttered open again and Barry could see just how hard she was trying to stay awake for his sake. "Thanks for rescuing me. Again."

Barry chuckled. "This time, you were the hero, Cait. You figured out how to stop him."

"And nearly killed myself," she wrinkled her nose. He found that gesture extremely cute.

Reaching out, he stroked the side of her face gently, his heart warming as she leaned into his touch. "Rest now, Caitlin, okay? You need to sleep."

"You're not leaving?" she asked sleepily.

"I, uh, might get something to eat, but other than that, I'm not going anywhere," he promised.

The corners of her lips turned up in a small smile. "Thanks, Barry. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You'll never find out," he promised, brushing back one lock of hair that had slipped onto her face. "Now rest."

While she slept, Barry kept watch over her and tried to sort out the tumult of feelings inside of him, especially the little voice that told him that he was slowly falling in love with Caitlin Snow.

* * *

 **Please review! I love reviews!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing! You all are so great and you inspire me to continue writing. Enjoy this next chapter =)**

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"How is she?"

Barry sighed. "Physically or emotionally?"

Cisco crossed his arms and leaned against the desk. "Both?"

"Physically, she's healing up well," Barry responded absently, glancing over to where Caitlin still slept peacefully in the bed in the lab's medical area. She was a little pale and weak from the small blood loss, but she should be good as new in just a couple days, especially if her metahuman healing kicked in to help. "Emotionally? That's hard to say."

Cisco nodded, then asked in a lower voice, "Why didn't she tell us?" There was a hint of hurt in his tone.

"Fear," Barry said softly. "She didn't want us to see her differently, didn't want us to think that she was going to become Killer Frost. She did everything she possibly could to mask her powers and their effect, but it was too much for her. I only found out because I was around in one of the moments when her control slipped."

"But we can help her," Cisco insisted immediately. "It doesn't matter if she's a meta that's likely to go crazy at any moment; she's still our Caitlin."

With a smile, Barry jerked his thumb towards Caitlin's sleeping form. "Tell her that, not me. She's the one who probably really needs to hear that kind of unconditional support at the moment."

"I will," Cisco promised, "just as soon as she wakes up. In the meantime, though," he added, turning away from Barry and heading towards his lab, "I have to start brainstorming ideas for power nullifiers or dampeners or something."

Barry clapped his friend on the back. "Caitlin's lucky to have such a great friend."

"Look who's talking," Cisco said with a grin. "Seriously, dude, with Vibe and the Flash on her side, Caitlin shouldn't be worried at all."

Out of the corner of his eye, Barry saw Caitlin stir in her bed through the glass wall separating her room from where he stood. "Hey, man, I think Caitlin's waking up."

"Go," Cisco said immediately. "Like I said, I have lab work to do." Then, his friend gave him a wink. "Besides, it's not like I haven't noticed the way you look at her."

"The way I...what?" Barry sputtered. "No no, it's nothing like that. I mean, there's Iris…" _Though I don't know how I feel about her lately_ , he thought guiltily. "Caitlin and I...she's pretty, of course she's pretty, and smart, but we're just friends. Nothing more. _Do I want to be more, though?_ It was a question that Barry was pretty sure he knew the answer to, but didn't want to admit to himself. Not until he knew how she felt, of course.

"Suurre," Cisco said, rolling his eyes dramatically. "That was convincing. Don't try to fool Vibe, dude. Not possible. I see _everything_."

"Whatever." Barry crossed his arms in front of him. "Don't you need to go tinker with things?"

"We'll talk about this later," Cisco promised threateningly as he left Barry alone to go check on Caitlin.

…

"Feeling any better?" Barry entered the small medical room, a worried look on his face.

It touched Caitlin, probably more than it should, that he seemed so concerned for her. _Of course, he would probably look that concerned if anyone from the team was hurt,_ she told herself. _Don't read too much into things._ However, she wanted to read into things. She knew that her feelings towards Barry were becoming more and more...complicated...since he had found out about her powers. They had spent much more time together, and she felt closer to him than she had felt to anyone in a long, long time. Was it so bad to hope that some part of him felt the same way?

"A little bit," she responded finally. "My leg aches, but I assume that's pretty normal after being stabbed with a flying shard of pure energy."

Barry smiled and came over to perch on the side of her bed. "Cisco says hi. He would have come in, but he has some ideas for power nullifiers to help you keep control and he wanted to test them out right away."

A rush of hope flooded through Caitlin, and in her excitement she found herself gripping Barry's hand tightly in hers. "Really?" she asked. "You and I weren't able to come up with anything, though…"

"We mostly looked into biological solutions, aimed at getting rid of your powers completely," Barry pointed out, looking down at where they were holding hands on the bed. Caitlin blushed, but he didn't let go, and she didn't want to be the one to break the contact - Barry's hand in hers felt much too comforting for her to pull away. "Cisco might have something technological that could work better to just nullify them instead."

"Is he mad?" The thought of Cisco being upset at her was hard to stomach.

"I don't think so," Barry said, running his thumb along the back of her hand. Though it was probably meant to be a comforting gesture, Caitlin felt her heart speed up at his touch and the blush return to her cheeks even more intensely. "I'm sure he wished you would have told him, but you know Cisco - loyal no matter what. He just wants to help you, same with everyone else.

Caitlin relaxed back into the bed, relieved. It had been one of her biggest fears that everyone would see her as the monster - as Killer Frost - instead of as herself.

"Cait?" Barry asked hesitantly, scooting slightly closer to her on the bed. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," she said immediately, her heart leaping at the sound of her nickname on his lips. "You know I don't have secrets from you. Or anyone, anymore," she added wryly.

"How do you feel about me?" There was a vulnerable look in his eyes as he asked the question, like he was worried about her response.

"I, uh, Barry," Caitlin started, stumbling over her words. How was she supposed to respond to that? _I know we're not dating and you've been in love with Iris for almost forever, but I think I may be falling for you?_ "I like you," she said slowly. "You're a wonderful friend, and you're always there for me, especially lately with everything going on." It seemed like a safe answer - one that would assure Barry that she cared without causing awkwardness and drama in their relationship. "Why are you asking?"

"No reason," Barry shook his head quickly, but she thought she saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes before he looked away. "Just curious. Anyway, I should go check on Cisco." He left before Caitlin could say another word, leaving her feeling surprisingly empty inside.

…

That night, Barry paced the hallway outside the door to Caitlin's apartment, where he had left her a couple hours ago after she insisted that she was well enough to return home to finish healing and she promised that she actually would take it easy.

Hearing that she considered him as a friend has stung more than he thought it would, and that alone made him wonder if his feelings for her ran deeper than he had previously believed. It was clear that she didn't return his feelings, but that only made his confusion worse.

And then there was Iris. Lately, they had spent almost no time together, and Barry had barely noticed. Should that say something? Did that mean that he was just so used to thinking that he was in love with her that he hadn't noticed when that love had changed to a deep friendship? Or was he reading way too much into a week apart?

Still, thoughts of Caitlin occupied his mind constantly. The way so wrinkled her nose, her smile, those legs in her fuzzy bathrobe, her bravery against Blockade, the constant desire to kiss her…

Finally, Barry reached a decision. He couldn't pace here all night - he had to act. His relationship with Caitlin meant enough that he wanted to be honest about how he felt with her, even if he was confused as all heck.

He knocked on the door before he lost his nerve, and then used the spare key to get it.

"Barry?" Caitlin looked up from where she lay on the couch, wearing loose pajama bottoms and a polka dotted tank top. Her hair was piled in a messy bun on top of her head, and tendrils of her hair curled enticingly along her neck. She was absolutely breathtaking. "What are you doing here so late?"

"I needed to see you," Barry replied, coming to kneel on the floor next to the couch, since he didn't want her to have to move the leg she was obviously elevating on the armrest. His heart sped up as he took her hand in his. "I like you, Cait," he said, looking into her eyes. He wasn't ready to commit to anything more at the moment, but he knew that, at the very least, he was attracted to her physically and emotionally.

"I...uh…" Caitlin started to say, but her lips parted slightly with the words and Barry was no longer able to resist the urge to kiss her.

He leaned in, slowly, giving her the chance to move out of the way if she wanted to, and gently caressed his lips against hers. It was sweet and tender and left Barry wanting more, but he reluctantly pulled away, keeping his eyes closed and savouring the taste of her on his lips.

"Barry?" Caitlin asked breathlessly, and he finally opened his eyes to look at her.

She was smiling.

* * *

 **Please leave a review! I love reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey everyone! I realized that I had something I needed to clear up. In this fic, Barry and Iris had just admitted their feelings for each other, but had never started officially dating or anything, so he's not cheating on her or anything like that! Anyway, this is probably the last official chapter, but I could be persuaded to write an epilogue… Anyway, enjoy!**

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Caitlin stirred slightly in her sleep, feeling herself start to wake up and regretting the sensation. She was so comfortable and warm and… Why was there an arm across her front? Then, memories of last night flooded her mind and she relaxed again.

Last night had been like a fantasy, one that she had never imagined would come true. Barry had showed up at her door, told her that he liked her, and then had kissed her. The memory of the kiss took her for a moment, and she savoured the reminder of his soft lips on hers. Then, they had stayed up half the night, talking and stealing the occasional kiss, before falling asleep on the couch in each other's arms. It had been perfect.

"Finally awake?" Barry's voice mumbled in her ear. "I thought you were going to sleep forever."

"What time is it?" she asked, twisting slightly in his embrace so she could face him. He was watching her with a soft look in his eyes.

He grinned. "Almost 11."

Caitlin's eyes widened. "I haven't slept that long in...years, probably."

"It's not every day that you get seriously injured and have to recover," Barry pointed out, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered on her face and she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch.

"Did last night really happen?" Caitlin asked dreamily, afraid that if she opened her eyes again she'd realize that it had all been a dream and Barry had never kissed her.

Barry was quiet for a moment, but then she felt the gentle pressure of his lips on hers. Her breath caught in her throat and she kissed him back, winding her arms around her neck and pulling herself against his body. The sheer tenderness of his kiss took her by surprise and touched her deeply in a place she had thought no one could reach after Jay and Ronnie. However, Barry managed to make her open up again, to believe in love again. Eventually, he pulled back, and she slowly opened her eyes to find him grinning at her reaction. "What do you think?" he asked amusedly.

She blinked in confusion before remembering her question. "I'll go with 'yes,' it was real," she responded with a smile, dropping another kiss on his lips. "Now," she started, hearing her stomach growl loudly, "I think I'm ready for some breakfast. Do you think the team can wait a bit for us?"

"They'll be fine," Barry muttered, bringing up his hand and tracing the curve of her lips with his thumb. "Are you sure you want to get up?"

At that moment, getting up sounded like a terrible idea. Being wrapped in Barry's arms with his fingers on her lips was comforting, but her stomach gurgled loudly again in protest. "I think," she mumbled against his thumb, "that my stomach's not going to give me much of a choice, despite what I want."

Barry chuckled, but sat up on the couch. "Waffles? Toast? Eggs?"

"Waffles," she decided immediately. "With fresh strawberries."

"Done." He sped off in a blur. While he was gone, Caitlin rushed to the bathroom as quickly as possible with her bandaged leg and groaned when she saw how much of a mess she looked. Her brunette hair was almost half-white - she was going to have to dye it - and it was sticking up strangely from sleeping in Barry's arms. Her face was flushed and there were bags under her eyes. In short, she looked like a mess. Grabbing her hairbrush, she forced her snarled hair into a respectable ponytail and washed her face.

The sound of the door and the enticing smell of fresh waffles announced Barry's return. By the time she left the bathroom and hobbled back to the couch, he had already set the coffee table with two waffles loaded with syrup, strawberries, and whipped cream along with two cups of what smelled like hot chocolate. Her stomach rumbled eagerly.

"Careful there," Barry rushed over to her and swung her into his arms. "Don't want you pushing that leg too hard."

"I'm fine, Barry," she rolled her eyes.

His eyes danced. "Maybe I just wanted an excuse to hold you." He tugged her tighter against his chest and carried her very slowly over to the couch.

"So…" Caitlin started after digging into her waffle, "what exactly are we, Barry?" She knew it was early in...whatever it was between them...to put a label on it, but she wanted to know where they stood when they went back to the lab. And she also wanted to make sure that there was nothing going on between him and Iris, either.

Barry took a bit of his waffle and chewed and swallowed before answering. "What do you want us to be, Cait? I'm all in - seeing you hurt like that made me realize how deep my feelings for you went. We can make it official right now, if that's what you want." The sincerity in his voice was wonderful to help soothe her nerves - at least about everything but Iris.

She smiled and bit her lip. "What about Iris?"

Barry took her hand in his. "I thought I loved Iris, for many years," he admitted, "and a part of me will always love her. But she's like a sister to me - I didn't realize it for a long time, and it probably would have saved me a lot of heartache if I'd figured it out earlier."

Caitlin nodded, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders at his words. "And you're willing to be with me, despite everything?"

"What do you mean?" Barry asked, pausing and turning to her.

"I'm a little broken," she admitted. "Between Ronnie and Jay and Killer Frost…"

"Then we'll fix you together," Barry interrupted her immediately. "I don't care how long it takes. I'm here for you, Cait."

"Thank you," she murmured, leaning forward to kiss him. Her words felt insignificant next to what he was promising, but she didn't know how else to tell him how grateful she was and how excited she was for a future with him. He made her forget all her worries and just feel like everything was going to be okay.

They finished breakfast with smiles on their face and fingers intertwined.

…

Barry couldn't contain his smile as he walked into Star Labs that afternoon, hand-in-hand with Caitlin. He'd had relationships before, but this felt different. Right.

"Dude, called it!" Cisco hollered as soon as they entered the Cortex. He winked at Barry. "Didn't I call it?"

"You called it," Barry laughed, pulling Caitlin closer and draping his arm around her shoulders. "Any luck with the power nullifiers, man?"

"Don't you try to change the subject! Are you two...official?"

"Knock it off, Cisco," Caitlin said teasingly. "But, yes."

The answering grin on Cisco's face made them both laugh. "Anyway," Cisco said, gesturing grandly to a strange looking device on his desk, "after working _all night_ , my genius came through and I managed to make a power dampener. I'll need to test it, but I'm confident it'll work."

Barry and Caitlin approached the desk and regarded the device. "How does it work?"

"It's like a bracelet," Cisco told them eagerly, gesturing for Caitlin to hold out her wrists so he could snap the thin bands on. There was a thin chain that connected each bracelet to a small ring that Cisco slipped over both her thumbs. "Sorry it's a little bulky, but I'll work on the design later. For now, see these buttons on the bracelet? They control the intensity of the dampening. The furthest on the right cuts off your power completely, while the furthest on the left only dampens it a little. That way, you can use your powers, but if you start to lose control, you can block your powers completely."

"Cisco, this is amazing!" Caitlin gasped.

"Powers without Killer Frost? That's incredible, Cait," Barry enthused, pressing a kiss on the top of her head and then another kiss on her lips.

"Yeah, uh, I'll leave you two alone for a moment," Cisco muttered, backing away with a knowing look. "I'll be in the...yeah, you guys aren't listening…"

"How do you feel?" Barry asked, looking deep into her eyes.

She grinned. "So happy. It's such a relief," she touched the bracelets, "to know that I won't go all Killer Frost and try to kill everyone anymore."

"I'm happy for you, Cait," Barry muttered, tangling one of his hands into her hair. "And you make me incredibly happy."

Her lips parted slightly. "Barry, I know it's soon, but I think I love you."

He kissed her gently, tenderly, before pulling back and responding. "I love you too, Cait."

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 **What did you all think? Should I flash forward a couple years and write an epilogue?**


	8. Epilogue

**A/N: Well, I couldn't resist - here's the overly cute, super fluffy epilogue to the story. This is how I would imagine the future between the two of them. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading through all the chapters!**

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Barry rolled over onto his side, and gazed down at the women sleeping soundly next to him. Long, wavy strands of hair spread across her pillow and her breathing came evenly. He hesitated for a moment, drinking in the peaceful sight, before he brushed a hand lightly across her cheek. She sighed in her sleep and shifted away from his touch, and he grinned. "Sorry," he whispered, leaning in to brush her ear with his lips, "but it's time to get up."

"Noitisnt," she mumbled unintelligibly, squeezing her eyes further shut.

Barry chuckled. "Come on, Cait. You're excited about this, remember?"

Caitlin just groaned and pulled the covers further up over her head.

With a resigned sigh, Barry sped out of bed, yanking the covers off with him and racing away before her indignant complaints could convince him to return the blankets. He knew just how persuasive Caitlin could be when she wanted something, and he was a sucker for whatever she wanted, so it was best to just stay away. Besides, now she wouldn't have a choice but to get up.

A couple minutes later, a pajama-clad Caitlin appeared in the doorway to the bedroom, one hand on her swollen belly and the other against the wall. She glared at him. "That wasn't nice."

"I," Barry smiled, speeding over to her and taking her carefully in his arms, "just _really_ want to know if we're having Flash Jr. or Princess Snow."

Caitlin rolled her eyes and laughed. "We're not naming our baby either of those," she reminded him, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Whether it's a boy or a girl, we're…"

"...naming it something normal," Barry finished, pulling back and giving her a grin. "I know. Now, come on - we're supposed to be at the doctor's office in," he consulted his watch over Caitlin's shoulder, "four minutes, and you're not even dressed."

"Like we're going to be late, _Flash_ ," Caitlin teased, pulling away and moving carefully back into the bedroom and towards the dresser.

Barry followed her in and wrapped his arms around her, careful not to squeeze her too tightly. "Still," he said, "you needed to get out of bed."

"And now I need to get out of my pajamas!" Caitlin pulled away from him and started getting dressed. Barry sped over to her bedside table and picked up the diamond ring sitting there, examining it with a satisfied smile.

He'd made the right decision.

… _1.5 years ago_...

" _What are we doing?" Caitlin complained for the twentieth time. "It's a blizzard, and here you are, dragging me out in it in the middle of the night for no apparent reason."_

" _There's a reason," Barry replied, helping pull her up a steep slope. Her feet slipped, but Barry kept her steady. "It's a challenge! It helps you hone your powers. Besides, the snow is supposed to stop any minute."_

 _Caitlin rolled her eyes. Cisco had given her the power dampeners a couple months ago, and already she was getting significantly better at controlling her powers without going all crazy Killer Frost on everybody. Still, she wore the thin bracelets and the thumb rings day and night, just in case she ever lost control. However, Barry kept insisting that, one day, she wouldn't need them anymore, and so he kept devising tests and finding experiences where she could practice without hurting anyone. This hike, up a mountain in a blizzard in the middle of the night, was one of those experiences._

" _Come on, Cait," Barry insisted, vibrating a little bit to keep himself warm. "This is fun. Besides, it's not like you're cold."_

" _Not cold is different than warm," she noted, longingly imagining a cup of hot chocolate and a blanket._

" _We're almost at the top," Barry replied with a quick smile._

 _Caitlin wasn't sure how he knew - all she could see was the swirling snow that limited her vision to a couple feet ahead of her. She suspected that she could halt the snowstorm entirely, but it sounded like it was a little too risky when she was just beginning to get a grasp on her powers. However, an idea struck her, and she cautiously used a bit of her power to 'encourage' the snow on the path in front of her to move to the sides, showing the frozen ground. She smiled and moved closer to Barry, finding that hiking was much easier now that she wasn't trudging through the deep snow._

" _That's cheating," Barry grumbled good naturedly, clasping her hand in his._

" _This is a test for my powers, right?" Caitlin returned, leaning up against him. It took some concentration to keep the path clear, but the power dampeners helped her keep control. "Well, I'm using my powers."_

" _Fair enough." Barry tugged her forward along the path. "Come on, we're almost there. Just a couple more feet."_

 _Caitlin sighed, but she couldn't help the slight smile pulling at her lips at her boyfriend's enthusiasm. His infectious smile always managed to get to her, no matter what. Because of him, she found herself more able to deal with all the trauma and stress associated with her powers, and even believed that one day her powers could be a force for good, with his help._

 _Suddenly, the slope ahead of them vanished, revealing a clear plateau piled deep with puffy white snow, untouched by humanity._

" _It's magical," Caitlin gasped, slowing to a stop. The blizzard was starting to clear up, just as Barry had promised, and the flakes were falling more slowly and infrequently now. The view, however, was what was taking Caitlin's breath away. The plateau looked out over the city, shrouded in a light coating of fine powder. The lights gleamed in the darkness of the night, looking like twinkling stars illuminating the snowflakes. "So beautiful."_

" _It is," Barry replied, looking into her eyes and ignoring the stunning view completely. "So beautiful." Caitlin blushed and leaned in to kiss him. "Worth it?" Barry mumbled the question, his breath warm against her lips._

" _Completely," Caitlin agreed without pausing._

" _You know I love you, right?" Barry asked softly, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. "So much?"_

" _I know." She did know, without question. Barry had quickly become the focus of her entire world, and he had made his feelings for her clear through his words and actions, leaving no doubt about where he was in their relationship._

" _Caitlin," Barry started hesitantly, pulling away slightly to look her in the eyes, "you know that I want this forever, right? That I can't imagine life without you, and I don't want to?"_

 _Before Caitlin could reply, Barry dropped to one knee in front of her, sinking in slightly to the snow. She gasped, emotions churning inside of her as she tried to process everything she was seeing. The snow seemed to slow around them, freezing the moment in time. With a start, Caitlin realized that the snow actually_ had _halted as a result of her powers in a sphere of glowing snowflakes around them._

" _Caitlin Snow," Barry started, after clearing his throat a couple of time. Caitlin felt tears start to slip down her cheeks. "Caitlin, these last couple months have been incredible," Barry finally found his voice. "The best of my life, and I couldn't imagine any better."_

" _Me neither," Caitlin choked out._

" _Shush," Barry admonished with a grin. "I'm supposed to be the one doing the talking right now."_

" _Sorry," Caitlin mumbled through her tears._

" _Anyway," Barry continued, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small, black box, "I love you, and I want you for forever. Will you marry me?" He flipped the box open, revealing a large diamond ring in a simple silver setting, surrounded by a ring of smaller diamonds._

" _Yes. Yes, yes, yes," Caitlin babbled almost incoherently, dropping to her knees in the snow in front of Barry._

" _Can I put this one you?" The grin on Barry's face was the largest she had ever seen, and it made her feel all warm inside despite the freezing conditions. "I really want to make this official."_

 _Caitlin just nodded, letting Barry slip the beautiful ring onto her finger. It was a perfect fit, and it immediately just felt right._

" _Ready to become Mrs. Allen?" Barry asked, pulling her into his lap and wrapping his arms around her._

" _Name the day." Leaning her head against his chest, Caitlin smiled and watched the snow resume falling around them, feeling happier than she ever had before._

…

"Mrs. Allen?" The doctor, a balding man with a surprisingly lean body entered the medical room, consulting his clipboard before glancing up at Caitlin and Barry.

"That's right," Barry answered nervously, gripping Caitlin's hand tightly in his own. She squeezed it gently before forcing him to loosen his grip.  
"Losing circulation," she whispered in explanation.

"Sorry," Barry muttered under his breath.

The doctor regarded them with amusement. "Are you ready to hear the gender of your baby? he asked, looking back and forth between the couple.

"Yes," Barry said immediately.

"No," Caitlin replied at the exact same time.

The doctor furrowed his brow. "Well, you'll have to pick…"

"Can we have a second?" Caitlin asked, looking between Barry and the doctor.

"Of course. I'll return in a moment."

"Why don't you want to know?" Barry asked, turning to his wife. He had spent the last half and hour on edge, waiting and anticipating the big news. "I thought…"

"I do want to know," Caitlin explained, looking into his eyes imploringly. "Just not like this, not in a doctor's office. I want to do it with Team Flash."

A small smile formed on Barry's face. "I love you," he said wonderingly, amazed for the millionth time that he had been so lucky as to get such a wonderful woman as his wife and mother of his children.

"I love you."

"I'll go find the doctor and get him to write down the baby's gender for us," Barry stood, pressing a quick kiss to Caitlin's forehead, "and then we'll head over to Star Labs."

… _1 year ago_...

 _The ceremony was simple, really. Neither Caitlin nor Barry had wanted anything too elaborate - after all, Caitlin had been married once before and Barry couldn't care less about wedding details, as long as it meant that he got to marry Caitlin._

 _The wedding itself took place on the mountaintop six months after Barry had proposed, in the very same spot. However, now the little plateau was sprinkled with wildflowers in full bloom and surrounded by lush greenery as a beautiful, natural backdrop._

 _Family was invited, and that included all of Team Flash as they were their adopted family. Barry and Wally had sped up the mountain a handful of times yesterday to bring up decorations and chairs and a simple braided wedding arch. Barry had asked Joe to do the honours of officiating, which had caused the cop to choke up. Even now, as he married them, his voice trembled._

 _However, Barry and Caitlin's voices were clear and strong as they stared into each other's eyes, promising to love each other forever, no matter what. Barry couldn't take his eyes off his resplendent new wife that entire night, who was glowing in her sheath white wedding dress and gently curled hair. He knew that she thought his suit was attractive, but he had only had eyes for her and hadn't even looked into a mirror. It didn't matter to him what he looked like, as long as she was happy._

 _The party that night was at Joe's, and Iris had gone crazy with the decorations and finger-food. Barry and Caitlin stayed for a while, enjoying the comfort of their friends, before slipping out quietly._

 _It was, after all, their wedding night._

…

"Okay, here's the big moment!" Cisco enthused. "Everybody present and accounted for?"

"We're all here, man," Wally confirmed after glancing around. "Can we eat it already?" Everyone present held a vanilla cupcake Iris had baked after Barry had given her the piece of paper containing their baby's gender. Inside, the filling was either blue or pink, but no sign of the colour showed on the outside.

"Ready?" Barry asked, looking at Caitlin expectantly.

"Ready," she agreed, closing her eyes and taking a big bite of her cupcake. Barry did the same, and watched the others in the room follow suit.

"Itagurl," Barry mumbled excitedly through a mouthful of cupcake. He swallowed hastily, then repeated it. "It's a girl!"

Caitlin's dazzling smiled lit up the room as she turned to him and swing his arms around his neck, heedless of the icing he felt smushed into the back of his head as she did so. "What do you think about naming her Nora?" she whispered into his ear and she held him tightly to her.

Barry felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. "I would love that."

"I love you."

Barry dropped a hand to Caitlin's swollen belly. "I love you both."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Please leave a final review and let me know your thoughts. If you enjoyed this story, you should check out 'Say Something,' my other SnowBarry story, if you haven't already. You're all amazing!**

 **~Caitlin51**


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